Hello Monday..

Hello Blog, my name is Mish. There's so much to say, but the words just can't seem to escape my mouth, but easily expressed by words. Today was just another manick monday. It started early, and is ending late as usual. This went from a rather special day, a day to memorialize and be happy. Yet, it left me a little discouraged.. Memories of the past flew back in, and it wasn't too great. Having a new person in my life is hard, your mind is in one place yet your heart is in another. Guys will never understand what us girls go through, all the pain, and secret feelings we hold within. They'll never know. Don't get me wrong, I'm very content with my life. I have adoring friends and family who are behind me 100%, and yet I feel empty? How selfish.. =/

Throughout these past 3 months, I've learned to adapt to a life without someone I significantly cared about. Yes, it was so hard. But I have to say there has been one guy who keeps me going, he may not know that he does, but he honestly does. He makes me smile, and feel warm. But the honest truth is I still love my ex, regardless of everything. I'm happy he is happy, but I'm just unhappy because I don't feel happiness yet. I wish we could be friends, I wish he could understand how I feel.. Throughout our whole relationship I feel as if he didn't really look deep within, and care for me the way he does for his new gf. I do not have an intentions to mess them up whatsoever, because I know for a fact that me and him are a done deal. I do not want to go back to that, I do not want to disappoint everyone, but mostly I do not want to disappoint myself. But because I still love and miss him, it breaks my heart knowing that he loves someone else already. As soon as we broke up, he had someone else instantly. That was the biggest pain and sadness I will ever feel. To this day, I do not understand how you can say I LOVE YOU, and do all of this to the person you claim to love in front of their face, a few days after.. And its because of him that I no longer trust, nor can I let my guard down. I guess we can't always be happy, I know I will grow from this. And I hope that this new guy that I'm attracted to, is just as into me, as I am to him. I'm smitten.

I guess today is another kawawa day for me. But I know I will pull through in the end. I always do. That's all for now or at least 'til next time.. Goodnighty!


Peace&Love,
Mishybaby.