GOOD THINGS.

I'm going to put this blog to good use, its been heaven and hell these past few days. Love rollercoasster I sweeear. So now I'm finally home, and yet I feel empty? Yes, I am single now.. I have to say this break up is yet to hit me, I like him a lot, yet I understand that we just don't click. Time really tells all. I just wish he would understand, but maybe its fate. Because when I was sad over him, a good friend was by my side. Its weird because I never thought this friend of all people would be there and make me happy again. Yet this was also the person that made me cold-hearted, and sadder than ever. I wanna cherish this friendship, but I know that good things don't last forever. With him, I know I can't fall again, its just a cutty buddy thing. But it hurts knowing that he's talking to a different girl 24/7 when i'm around him. I know I put up a front, but I do that for a reason. Deep inside somewhere I'm hoping that we can rekindle what we've had, but at the same time I don't know if thats what I would want. I find myself pushing him away at certain times, and when that happens I wish I hadn't done that. But honestly, its like deja vu.. I only wish he knew. We have a bond that can't be compared to anyone else. He's the only guy that I've met thats kept me on my toes, even though its been a couple years. Can you believe that? He keeps me going sometimes. And I can sit there and talk, talk, and talk, and I know he acts as if he's not paying attention, but only he understands. I know this is a friendship that I don't wanna lose. I just hope that my feelings won't screw this over for me. I just wanna be next to him, and I know that he likes being next to me. I guess if we're really meant to be, then it will happen, right? But one things for sure, I'll still love him regardless if the world hates me for being with him, because to me its worth it. He's worth it. We're worth it. But for now, I'm just totally confused. I just want someone to tell me whats right, and what I should do. I wanna stop contemplating everything. please. HELP ME!

Yikes, what an emotional entry. 'Til next time..



Peace&Love,
Mishybaby.